Its not you, it’s me

27 Jul

Being single, I often find myself sitting across from a stranger, trying to make something spark over a glass of something (insert wine, vodka or gin tonic, or if it’s really bad, vodka martini – straight up, dirty, with an olive). Once I was told I didn’t have to drink to be more interesting and my response, “I’m drinking to make you more interesting.” (This attitude could be why I never got married).

Not so long ago, being single wasn’t an unusual thing. In my 20s, being the single girl, I was admired or considered the norm. But about the time I starting growing out of studio apartments, and into a co-habitation situation, my friends starting getting married and soon enough, having babies. Fast-forward a few years, and I’m left with a garden gnome, a couple of marriage proposals and many life lessons.

More recently, I keep hearing that getting married is out. With the divorce rate at 50 percent and many not wanting to go through the pain and expense of the “starter marriage” I’m wondering if this is true. Has man (and woman) finally evolved passed marriage?

The wedding business is worth billions of dollars in the United States, and we’ll go to them, and believe in them, because doesn’t everyone want to feel they are in the presence of true love, according to a Wedding Crasher?

Moving back to my hometown and into yet, another apartment, I didn’t know what to do next in the love category; with these repeated revelations, I’m sort of relieved that I may not have to do anything at all. However, a part of me won’t let my belief system fall into the marriage naysayer category just yet. Who wouldn’t want a guaranteed someone in their life after a bad day at work, argument with a loved one or someone to take trips with?

The happiest time in my 30-something years was when I was making the smallest amount of money and living in the tiniest apartment. This probably wasn’t because I enjoyed getting creative with noodles and peanut butter sandwiches at dinners and drinking cheap beer, it was probably because I was meeting new people, seeing a life ahead of me that wasn’t pre-determined and wanting to go out there and take the necessary steps to be established.

It could be this excitement that lingers today, which is why I refuse to settle, waiting to be sitting across from that person that will make me say to myself, “this is why all those others didn’t work out.” That being said, I have a date to get ready for.

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